you ever been at a bar, club, networking event, or any social gathering? Of
course you have. You typically stay with the people you came with and if you
are one of the rare ones that actually go alone, I congratulate you, however,
you would typically need some liquid courage. If you can go to a social event
alone and without needing any external stimulus, we will need to do some tests
For those that aren’t a unicorn, listen up because we are going to rewire your brain to realize that people are actually friendly. You may be reading this and thinking, “then how can you explain that stranger who just punched me?” Well, I would say that person should be in jail. Relatively speaking, people are friendly and that if they are reacting negatively towards you, without knowing you of course, then it is clear that they are using you as an outlet. Let’s say, hypothetically, you are at a bar, club, or networking event and you see someone you are interested in talking to, assuming you aren’t a complete sociopath, the conversation should be pleasant.
Where could this cynicism stem from? It could vary from one’s upbringing, adolescent years (bullying, teasing, etc), or any way one could be conditioned to believe such a thing. Now, who am I to tell you this? Am I a psychologist? No. Sociologist? No. Human Being? Debatable. I am just a classic millennial from Minnesota that wanted to create a big life here in the City of Angels. Somehow, within my first year in Los Angeles, I was able to walk into all of the exclusive night clubs, restaurants, lounges, private membership only venues, and some other events that eventually make it to TMZ, which by the way, is how you know you made it. Also, creating relationships with people worth over $100 million, celebrities, and some of the most well-connected people I have ever met in my life. All of this was done without spending any money, actually made money at some, and dressed fairly poorly, especially for Hollywood standards. It became easier over time when I finally, at 25 years old, learned how to dress well. I will show you how I did it and how you can do it in your city as well. Also, I will be interviewing some of the people I listed above to get their perspective!
First, the boring part:
I was born in Eagan, Minnesota, only child, and damn near perfect parents. Bullied through most of middle and high school, loved math and science, and captain of the bowling and golf team. I wasn’t the coolest kid from 10-25 (just turned 26). Made the mistake of staying in Minnesota for college, but I did love the school I went to, Go Tommies! Drank my body weight every week, while still barely passing my classes. I ended up majoring in physics and math because I was told that it was easy to get a job with those degrees due to how challenging it is. Also, our school boasted that within six months of graduating, the class of 2015 (my class), 95% of graduates got an adult job. Guess who was in the 5%? Correct, me. They had a great alumni program, apparently. Took me almost nine months to get my first job, and it was brutal. Interesting story though, my parents were at a bar and my parents are natural extroverts and started a conversation with a lady who worked at a staffing company. We ended up pursuing that and I got a job for St. Jude Medical. Worked my ass off doing some of the most complicated problems in college to my first job being something that a freshmen in high school could easily do well at. I tried to stay humble and tell myself, “I’m putting the time in, I’m putting the time in.”
That didn’t last long, my contract got cut short six months early than what they told me, so I was again unemployed when all my peers, who did not even know where the library was in college, were getting raises. I know we aren’t suppose to compare ourselves to others, but I was fucking pissed. Got a job at two nearby country clubs where I was waiting tables at weddings, cleaning golf cars, picking up driving range balls, and wiping members golf clubs all day. To this day, waiting tables at weddings is by far some of the most fun I have ever had. Got another job at Abbott Laboratories, which was more brutal than the other where I was just filing complaints on pacemakers and defibrillators all day every day. Great start to a post-grad life, don’t you think?
I promise I am bringing this back around to the vague title. As you can see by the words I used, I was very cynical around this time: bad jobs, started to drift away from all my high school and college friends, and got fat(ter). I knew I had to change my mindset before I changed anything else. I became addicted to Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuck, and my favorite, Les Brown. Their voices were booming and so persuasive, I was hooked immediately. I began meditating, which in the Midwest is very rare. This changed my life, and watching The Secret on Netflix was so inspiring, that I made two vision boards. I will be talking a lot about the spiritual stuff in future posts, and how being practically spiritual will change your life!
The move to Los Angeles (Alexa, play California Love by Tupac please):
I have wanted to move here since I was 20, I am not sure why at the time I wanted to do it, other than potentially hitting on Jennifer Lawrence and Alex Daddario. My parents told me to finish school, then try to get a job in Minnesota, then transfer to LA. Seemed like a fair plan, so I stuck with it. After my last job at Abbott Laboratories, the contract ended around December 2017 which I thought was a perfect time to start over. I wanted a big life and I had a difficult time resonating with a lot of Minnesotans based on their dreams and aspirations. Although, I was lucky that I had a great group of friends before I moved. My dad told me since graduating that I needed to be selfish for once, he was right. I left everything behind and knew one person here, the one I was moving with, and knew very little about the city itself.
Back to people: my whole website, blog, page, whatever you want to call it, is being extremely practical. I am sure you have realized this; you will talk to people all the time who will tell you their ideas, plans, dreams, anything, and when you ask them what they are doing to get closer to that, they say nothing. Guilty. Then you think, ok well… good luck with that and walk away.
posts will help you be the small percentage of people that are actually doing
something whether it is to improve your health and wellness, be more social,
and/or your grow in your career. We will work together to break it down to
small actionable steps that lead to a happy and gratitude-filled life!
Lets start now.