The Only Quality You Need to be a Great Manager or Leader

Another clickbaity title, I know, but this is a big one similar to my gratitude post. Like gratitude this quality is very important to your internal growth ESPECIALLY when you are talking to high end clients, or just people in general. This is the quality that will teach you how to be a great leader or manager.

Other than gratitude, this quality has single-handedly helped me get the access I have always wanted and to be in front of the people I have always wanted to network with. Enough suspense:

It is Empathy

I am sure you were just clicking on this post just to see the one quality and now you have seen it, you may leave the site. That is not a good idea because how are you going to implement it? I am sure you are aware that this is a great quality, but you still can’t get those clients to actually spend money, or your employees to finally respect you.

You need to implement these small practical ways to employ empathy, and it will then be in your subconscious, which will then become a habit. Which is, as said in most of my posts, our primary goal. We want to have positive, consistent habits that will lead to a big life!

Let’s start with some anecdotes and broad generalizations.

Throughout your life I am sure most of you have had managers where if they just asked you simple questions such as, “What can I do to make your job easier and more enjoyable?” but no, they keep making do the most redundant boring tasks and you feel yourself slowly drifting away.

Also, they keep micromanaging you and since they think they know the job better than you and their way is the only way, you have to agree and do it. Zero empathy.

Now let’s reflect on the positive supervisors you have had in your life, they do not micromanage you, nor do they make work feel like a burden. They actually want to get to know you and your hobbies and find ways to help improve your life in any way they are allowed to.

I used to work at a local gym back in Minnesota and the manager was extremely cheap, poor explanation, and the training was brutal. It was evident that is how he was taught, because I would speak to his boss and he acted in such a way that his shit doesn’t stink, and he clearly is right all the time. They both ended up getting fired within my time there, about three months. I also worked at a hospital in Hollywood, and very similar, the management was so bad that they gave me no guidance and every time I would ask a question, they would tell me that was stupid.

They would then give me a condescending exhale; they would also ask me science questions on concepts I haven’t studied in years. Eventually, I was conditioned to not ask any more questions, which I am sure you could guess that it did not end up well. I left there after only five months.

Then, on a positive note, I worked at a medical device company where the manager was extremely flexible and never put me down when I asked a question. It was fantastic.

What is also interesting is it isn’t about the money. There are certain public figures that we have no problem giving a lot of money too, for the reason that they have helped the common good so much that they deserve it.

I know what you may be thinking, I am just a sensitive millennial and I should get use to it. I agree.

However, let’s start a new idea together where our kids, and their kids, will grow up in a world where the working world is no longer about winning and losing, it is understanding and growing together.

Okay, I am motivated, lets get back to the whole point to this website. Practicality.

You’re right, let’s do this.

A quick reference to an amazing read that I listed in my Book Recommendation section. It is called Leader’s Eat Last by Simon Sinek. This book gives great context to this entire post, make sure to check it out!

We will start small:

Relate to the small things
When speaking to anyone and they say any emotion, simple relate by saying “I understand you feel *that emotion*, it must be *opposite or same emotion* that thing happened.” I know this is a weird format but hear me out. It has been proven that if you relate by saying this it builds an extreme amount of relatability and whomever you are speaking with feels like you get it. Also, that their voice has been heard.

A great technique if you are a manager/leader that is having a difficult time relating to your employees. As usual, the more you do this, the more it will be cemented into your subconscious. This technique is explained as well in the book, Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss, which is located in my book recommendation section.  

When speaking to anyone and they say any emotion, simple relate by saying “I understand you feel *that emotion*, it must be *opposite or same emotion* that thing happened.” I know this is a weird format but hear me out. It has been proven that if you relate by saying this it builds an extreme amount of relatability and whomever you are speaking with feels like you get it. Also, that their voice has been heard.

A great technique if you are a manager/leader that is having a difficult time relating to your employees. As usual, the more you do this, the more it will be cemented into your subconscious. This technique is explained as well in the book, Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss, which is located in my book recommendation section.  

Be the last one to talk
A big one on how to be a great leader or manager, that is very practical. I am sure you have been there, you sit down in a boardroom, office, etc, and the boss says, “alright, look at all the things you are doing wrong, why? You are all screwing up!” And you sit there like, “uh, good morning to you too.”

Practically, what that boss should do is sit down at the table and ask, “how can we improve as a team?” or “what can we do to make more money?” Notice the difference between “you” and “we.”

Not nearly as aggressive and solidarity creates a lot of trust. If the boss said the last word on those questions I listed, it makes the employees feel heard. Not only will it make the employees feel heard, it will also give the boss or leader, get a better picture to see where their team stands emotionally and professionally. The leader can then adapt and then restructure their approach to these problems for better or worse.

Show the honestly immediately
How often do we get emails or texts where they are clearly buttering you up and you know they have some hidden agenda? I know, like every 10 minutes. The practical way to do this is to set up the information in such a way where you immediately ask off the email then a good compliment and well-wishes. It shows your intent right away and they will respect that.

Critique with a sandwich
Just make them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and they will begin to trust you! Just kidding. I have learned throughout my years is that when people critique you, there is a structure that is needed to be done. You will react completely different to a harsh critique like, “your blog posts aren’t funny,” which would be devastating to me. The proper way to critique is to have a positive-negative-positive sandwich.

An example would be something like, “you do have some really good puns and one-liners in your posts, however, I do believe that if you didn’t do that much you will get a lot more engagement. But definitely don’t stop implementing your humor, you are funny.” A lot more genuine, and something I have personally heard plenty of times.

This will not come off nearly as harsh and severe any relationship you may have with your employees. You will notice that they will being to trust you and implement your critiques immediately.

Lastly, I always recommend doing all of these actions consistently, and over time, you will notice that you will do this second nature and you will be more empathetic, and others will begin to trust you.

As usual, I have a book recommendation that will give you some more context on how to be a great leader or manager. It is the book by one of my favorites, Simon Sinek. It is in my book recommendation list, “Leaders Eat Last.” It is phenomenal, check it out here!

I would love to hear how exactly you going to be a great leader or manager below! Please post and I will make sure to reply to all of them!

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